"At home in the islands...in the middle of the sea."

Tonight I'm in one of those nostalgic kind of moods. I've been reading this blog that a friend of our family started in regards to Memories of Moana street - the street I grew up on in Hawaii. It brought back so many memories! I was laughing and crying at the same time - and here I go again just thinking about and remembering that beautiful place that I still call home. I searched on line for some picures of Laie and found a place that had so many, including Moana Street & some great shots of the beach where I was baptized, Clissolds beach. There is this picture of the walkway you take from Kamehameha highway to get there. I so vividly remember the day I was baptized at that beach. All of us crossing Kam highway, walking in between those chain-linked fences to get there, and running up and down the beach. I'm including some pictures with this post.

We found out not too long ago that in the next year BYU will be tearing down the old faculty houses on Moana street to replace them with new ones. Our little humble home will be gone - here come the tears again!! I'm really, really sick to my stomach that they're tearing it down. I had always dreamed of taking my kids back there to show them where I grew up, on the coolest street in all of Laie where kids ran around playing all day, starting a tradition of night games; one specifically called "go water", which we taught to all the kids we grew up with here in Utah as well, playing at each others house - kids coming from all parts of the island to trick-or-treat on our street. It really was an amazing place to grow up. Oh! I also just read on another website that they will be closing down Kahuku Hospital, where me and my 3 younger brothers and sister were born. So sad!!!

I don't know why I get so emotional everytime I think about Hawaii or see pictures of Laie and the PCC (polynesian cultural center). I get emotional just by listening to a Hawaiian song, especially if it's by the Brothers Cazimero. My heart literally aches when I think about Hawaii. I've got to get back there before they start to tear things down, just to take more pictures of all the things that bring back memories...which would be everything.

"Big girl - you are beautiful."

As you all know I'm not a skinny girl, and I don't think I ever have been "skinny" in my whole life. I think that skinniest I've ever been was while I was in China and had gall stones, and couldn't eat anything fattening. My diet consisted of sticky rice and soy sauce for lunch & dinner; still one of my favorite things to eat. During that time I was roughly a size 12/14.

Anyway as I was saying...I'm not a small girl. I wish I could still look the way I did back then...but lets face it, it may not happen - although I'm not done trying...don't think I'll ever be done trying to look the way I did.

There was a point in my life where I did the worst things to try to lose weight, for example: eating a celery stick a day, or a carrot stick a day. Yes, I lost a lot of weight, but I believe that this was the reason I got gall stones. It messed things up in my head for a while, in fact to this day I cannot stand the smell or the thought of using butter or oil in food, although I've turned to just using Olive Oil for cooking. Seriously though, the smell of butter makes me want to gag. I don't like melted cheese because of all the grease. During this time in my life I would get so offended by the tiniest hint of someone telling me I was even slightly over weight. Now a days I don't get so easily offended, in fact I'm the first one to point the finger at my weight. Outwardly I may be laughing, but inside I'm a ball of insecurities. I have a very difficult time seeing people who knew me in my skinnier days. The thought of seeing old friends almost brings on an anxiety attack - I'm pathetic!!

Anyway, my whole point to this blog was not to tell you about my life craziness, but to tell that a couple weeks ago my sister Erin introduced me to the song, "Big girl you are beautiful" by Mika. (check out the song on my playlist).I like his music, but hadn't heard this song until that evening when I had just picked her up from the airport and we were driving down I-215. I immediatly feel in love with this song. It makes me realize that although I may be overweight...I'm STILL BEAUTIFUL!!! I don't consider myself ugly, but it's hard when you don't look the way you used to. Ryan tries to be tactful when he's helping me feel better about myself during my down times, which doesn't always make me feel better but...bless his heart for trying. :)Anyway, It was a really good self esteem booster song. I went home popped that CD into my stereo and rocked out to it. It's my new theme song that I listen to while I'm getting ready for work, or whenever I need a little pick me up.

I'll never stop fighting the battle of the buldge, and may always be a big girl - but I'll still be beautiful!

Stress reliever...

So, things are a little crazy at work right now - I swear I'm going to have ulcers real soon, if I don't have them already. YIKES! Needless to say I was very exciting to be leaving work the other day, but still had the stress on my shoulders. As I was driving through the backroads of Lehi I decided to turn up the christmas music playing on KOZY 106.5, roll down the windows - mind you, it was raining, and sing out those tunes as loud as I possibly could. The only audience was the cows & horses, but I tell you...it was a GREAT stress reliever. I would reccomend everyone doing it. :)

I'VE BEEN TAGGED...(ok, so it was a while ago...just now getting to it)

Sarah Morris tagged me so here's my best shot. The rules...
A. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves.
B. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog, for these rules

1. I love rain! I love the smell, the look of cloudy skies, especially when it down pours and I can hear it on the roof. It's so relaxing and makes me want to snuggle up with a blanket, drink some hot cocoa and watch "White Christmas", even if it's not Christmas.

2. I am a big fan of those darn US weekly Magazines and People Magazine. It's funny because my mom told me one day that her mom was a fan of those kind of magazines too - so I guess I got it from my Gramma. There's just something about going to the store picking up a magazine, sitting on my chair in my jammies and reading it. I'm a dork, I know.

3. Most people already know this about me, since I just posted it a few blogs ago. I have done this ever since I was younger. Kind of embarassing...but oh well. I love to pretend like I'm famous or, like I said in the blog, like I'm on TV talking to people, like having my own cooking show. I remember so vividly when I was younger Erin, Caiti and I used to lip sync in front of our mirror in our room - as well as dance to whatever song we were lip syncing, of course thinking it was all real and that we were really on stage, and that those were our real voices in the boom box. I still do that sometimes - lip sync in front of the mirror...oh yes and pretend like I have my own cooking show. Sarah, since you wanted to see it on 'You-tube' maybe I'll do something like that...haha!!! NOT!!

4. I love to take drives! Back in the day Erin, Caiti and I would drive up to Edgemont in Provo and look at all the beautiful houses. While doing this we would always listen to Chicago; the group, not the musical. Oh yes, and before we'd do that we would get a sconecutter shake...yummy!!

5. I sleep with ear plugs in my ears. I've been doing this for about a year now. I started doing this because I happened to have some one day and wanted to see what it would be like sleeping with them in my ears. I haven't stopped since. I get a better nights rest when I have my ear plugs in. There are a few other reasons why I wear them for example: My sister sent me an email about an article on KSL talking about a little boy who kept hearing these crackling noises in his ear, which they found out was due to a spider laying eggs in there. FREAK!! Another reason is because, I'm afraid of anything that has to do with the supernatural. Ok, ok I'll say it...the biggest reason why I wear them is so that I don't hear any ghosts whispering in my ear. There I said it! I'm not ashamed of it either, it could happen!

6. Last but not least, I love to sing, play my guitar, piano, and now the organ that Ryan's Grandma gave me. It's my thing I do to relax after a hard day's work. The best compliment I ever got was from my husband Ryan who said, when someone asked him what his favorite type of music was, he said, "whatever my wife is playing on her guitar or piano". Awwwww!!!!


I am now TAGGING 6 people. And they are...
Rebeccah Mildenstein, Erin Curran, Caitilin Summerhays, Hannah Baker, Ryan Hadden, & Leslee Olson.

Crazy family gatherings...

So I mentioned in the post before about how a bit overwhelming it is to be in the Curran household. Thanksgiving was a fun day, with loads of people, yummy food - too much food, and singing all around. I swear as soon as we all get together it's this mad rush to get in the living room to have Dad play his songs on the guitar as we sing along. Every year, whether it's the Holidays or not, and my parents have guests over, my Mom asks a special request for us girls to sing a certain song we've been sining since way back when - for real, like when I was in 7th grade we learned this song. It's called "Tennessee Christmas". Yeah, it's a Christmas song that we sing all year 'round. My mom even wants us to sing it at her funeral, ummm yeah! We even rocked out to some songs that my brother Shane played from his band. He's so good!!!

Anyway, here are some pictures of us at my parents house Thanksgiving evening. I think we had around 18 people in there. CRAZINESS!!!

But, can I just say that my "Gooey Pumpkin Pie Bars" & "Candied Yams" were DIVINE!!! I'm so proud of myself that I think I'll sing the "proud of you" song to me. :)

Thanksgiving fun

So I'm sitting here in the living room, loving the smell of the house as food for this evenings dinner is cooking. As most all of you know I'm not the best when it comes to cooking or baking. But, since I've been married I've been trying really hard to learn how to be the next Paula Deen, or Giada Di Laurentis, haha. No, but in all seriousness I actually enjoy challenging myself when it comes to cooking. A silly side of me is when I pretend like I have my own show on the food network. I'll sit there in my kitchen cooking or baking away, and act as if I've got an audience - obviously I do this when Ryan isn't home, or I'd never hear the end of it. I'm a dork, what can I say.

This year I told my mom that I wanted to try and make her traditional candied yams with apples, raisins, pecans & marshmallows. Yummy!! It's my favorite dish! So, I've got that cooking in the crockpot, and the aroma of it is to die for. Love it, love it. I'm also making something I've never made before, but my sister Caiti makes it every year and loves it. It's a Paula Deen recipe - "Gooey Pumpkin Pie Bars". I hope I didn't just over cook it too. Yikes. I just realized that they probably should have been out of the oven about 10 minutes ago. Oh well, it's all about trial & error.

We've got Ryan's family in town for Thanksgiving. It's so fun to have them here, and I'm excited for them to meet all of my family. Whoa...that's a little overwhelming for a smaller family to meet my crazy, big family. I'm surprised Ryan didn't bolt out the door when he first met them. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but I can see how people might be afraid. I mean for one we're all really tall - a little intimidating for smaller people. Second, we all like to talk and be the center of attention; yeah try having about 6 different conversations going all at the same time at the dinner table. Third, there are so many of us that it's pretty much standing room only. Then we have all the nephews who are just miniature sizes of all of us. Oh man...lots of fun!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Ok, this is the last...

I know the past few blogs have been all about our new place. I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing about it..haha. So, we're in our home, just about done with the last of the boxes. We got our furniture, Washer & Dryer & new KING SIZE bed on Monday. Last night as Ryan and I did Laundry we stood there just watching in awe as the washer was going; it was like we were in a trans. I guess that happens when you have your first front loader washer and dryer set. They're pretty.

It's funny starting out in a new place. You're not quite used to the house, not sure what the different sounds are you hear throughout. Like the other night I was by myself watching a movie waiting for Ryan to come home from work. I heard this big noise, which startled me (everything startles me, just read Erin's blog). I finally figured out that it came from the ice maker in the freezer. Ok, so I've got that noise down, what's next?

I don't like being home alone yet. I was fine with it at our apartment because I could pretty much peek out our bedroom and see the whole place. Here, there is an upstairs & downstairs so if I hear anything I have to search the whole place for it, and let's face it - if you're home alone and you hear a noise, and you're me...are you really going to go and see what the noise was? Maybe. Those who really know me know that I don't like the dark, no matter if Ryan is there with me. He gets upset when I'm trying to go to a different room at night and I pretty much turn all the lights on, on my way to that room. It's all Erin's fault!! She tortured me and scared me as a child that to this day I can't sleep by myself in the dark, maybe in the light...depends...not in this new house...not yet. Because of her delight in scaring me I have to sleep with ear plugs and sleep with the TV on. I know that doesn't make sense because you have the TV on to hear it but then with ear plugs you can't hear it. Trust me it all makes sense in my mind. I need the TV on as a distraction, and the ear plugs in so I don't hear anyone coming up the stairs, or anyone, or thing, whisper in my ear. I know...I'M PATHETIC. I don't like taking a shower when Ryan isn't home, you know just in case someone comes in the door and tries to kill me...too many scary movies I tell ya.

But I love having friends and family come over to see our place. It's so fun!! Maybe this year we'll host Thanksgiving. :)