Sean & Bri got married!!!

Yep, they did! Love it!

It started out with Thursday May 19th. Our family put on a pre-wedding dinner at the club house in my neighborhood. It started out as a Hawaiian theme, with the cheesy decorations, but then Erin, Caiti, Sharon and I took over. We stuck with the same thing, but made it much more elegant and beautiful and saved the cheesy things for a photo booth (pics to come on that)

We had yummy Kalua pork, shoyu chicken, chicken long rice, fruit, salad, macaroni salad...all traditional Hawaii food + Haupia cake, and guava cake...so ono!

The placed looked beautiful with white decor, white lights, white table linens and chair covers, and clear glass vases filled with Fresh Lilacs that we collected from neighborhood trees (hope no one noticed us cutting them off...lol) The place looked beautiful and we were happy.

My brothers made up a song that was hilarious, and certainly didn't disappoint. They're good like that. I was so mad though! I started recording it on my camera, but half way through it ran out of memory...I was so mad! But you get an idea of what it was like...

Friday morning we all got ready and headed up to the Salt Lake Temple for Sean & Bri's sealing. It was so great to see cousins, Aunts/Uncles there. Family is so important and to have extended family there, who had traveled long distances, to support Sean and Bri meant the world to them and to us.

The sealing ceremony was beautiful! After wards we headed outside and waited for them to come out. We were worried it was going to rain that day, since it had the entire week, but we lucked out big time. It was overcast...but no rain.

Brianna's sister and I did the photography for the day (and for the whole event), it was hard work, but fun.

Here are a few from the day....





That night the reception was at 'Noah's' in PG. It was beautiful!!! I have so many of those pictures to go through, it's not even funny!

My brothers did a rendition of "Free falling"...but changed the lyrics to..."cause she's Bri!...Bri Curran!" So funny!!!

I'm so happy for those two. So happy they found each other! Love you guys!

Blah...

I have some great pics of Sean & Bri's wedding coming up to put on here. You can see some of them on my photography blog by clicking that button on the side -------------> And more details about the big event. Let's just say it was BEAUTIFUL!

Ok, now back to the topic of my post tonight.

Do you ever feel like there's so much more in life for you? Not that things are bad...but that there's something more out there and we just haven't gotten there yet, but the anxiousness for it is there? I felt like that today.

With Ryan having been out of a permanent job for the last year + I begin to wonder if Utah is even where we should be. It seems so crazy that no one is offering him a job when he has so much to offer. I don't get it. He's so talented and he's the hardest working person I've ever known.

Then I start thinking that I'd really like to live outside of Utah. I want to live out in the "Mission Field" where I have to rely on my own testimony and not those around me, like I feel at times I do being surrounded by my fellow LDS members. I want that experience where I can grow, and where Ryan and I can grow stronger together. Does that make sense? As much as I love it here and feel blessed to be surrounded by others of my same faith it's easy to feel lost in the crowd, so to speak.

Another terrible, absolutely wretched thought that I had tonight that made me tear up is that soon I'll be 34 (in a few months), which is only 6 years away from being 40. UGH! Why oh why do I feel so horrible about this. I felt this way when I turned 30...but thinking about 40 makes me feel even worse. Not that 40 is bad...but just that my brain feels like I'm 27 still. Just the thought of getting older and not having kids of my own scares me...like really bad. Like so bad that it makes me cry. Ahh! Go away bad thoughts, I don't want to think about this anymore. I want to live life to it's fullest, and be happy about getting older and basking in all it's gloriousness (really?).

Ok, I lied. I don't want to get older. I want to stay young for-e-ver!

That's all. Good night.

T-minus 4 days...

...until these two become husband and wife. Yay! I'm so happy for my little brother Sean and his amazing/wonderful/sweet/kind/beautiful Brianna.






Tomorrow they go through the Temple, and we're excited to be there with them for that, along with more from our Family, and Bri's Family.

Thursday we have the wedding dinner at our Club house. The theme is Hawaiian...so fun!

Then Friday is the BIG day! Sealing just before noon followed by lots of pictures (her sister is a photographer as well...you can imagine all the pictures we've taken so far - and can't wait to post her bridals...but not until after the wedding...Sean isn't allowed to see her dress yet). Followed by the Reception at Noah's.

Also, my sissy came into town with her baby, Liam. They're up in Syracuse right now but will be heading down here today? or tomorrow? Can't remember...but I'm so excited to see them!!!!!!

Oh happy days!!

On a side note, and totally off the subject. I love my Ryan. I had a hard day yesterday and got quite emotional...he showed me just how much he loves me though, despite all my crazy emotional times. I'm grateful for him and for his unconditional love. I have so much to work on and I'm glad he's there to help me, and to cheer me on. Thank you Ryan! I LOOOOVEEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!

6 years {mushy post - beware}

6 years ago today I got up. Got ready for the day and had a friend come over and do my hair. We were all getting ready at the house for luncheon at Cracker Barrel with my family and Ryan's family before getting married.

A few days earlier I was shopping at the Mall trying to find something white to wear to my wedding. I found a cute white skirt and shirt that matched. I wore white flip flops with a flower on them. Not your typical wedding dress attire, but it worked for me, for now.

My Mom let me wear my Gramma Fitzsimmons pearls, and brooch. I loved it!

The day of the wedding Ryan picked up a bouquet for me. He asked me what colors I wanted...I had no idea. "Just get something springy" I told him. He then rushed around to find a white shirt, nice black pants and a black tie. I remember him feeling stressed that he couldn't find one anywhere. But, eventually did.

Cracker Barrel was fun having everyone there. We were just missing my sister Caiti and her family, and Ryan's sister Jasi and hubby Ryan.

Afterwards I went back to the apartment and got changed in my white attire, and Ryan changed in his church clothes. We then headed to the church.

We went to the Relief Society Room where we had our ceremony. The bouquet Ryan got me was beautiful with purple and yellow flowers. I was wearing my jean jacket over my white clothes, and didn't want to take it off. I knew there was a more significant ceremony to come in the next year or so, so I almost didn't want to make a big deal out of this one. My sister Megan told me to take it off and to hold my bouquet.

Ryan and I were nervous but soon it all faded away. Our Bishop, Bishop Bingham, told us this was his first civil wedding he had performed. We felt special. He was an amazing Bishop! It was a nice wedding.

My parents sang, "There is love". One of my favorite songs they sing as a duet, with my Dad playing the guitar.

When it was over we were greeted with bubbles outside, and a decorated car. We took a few pictures and then headed over to the Grand America Hotel, but with a stop to the car wash so Ryan could Vacuum out the car (something he had planned to do before the wedding, but didn't get a chance to...he wanted things perfect for that day...so sweet.)

A year and a half later we were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple. What an amazing day that was. Wow!

On this Anniversary I want to give thanks to Ryan for putting up with my for these past 6 years. I'm not always the most pleasant to be around (due to my crazy hormone issues - otherwise I'm a really nice person...I promise), and can be selfish, and stubborn, I don't always make the bed, and I leave my makeup and hair dryer, etc. on the bathroom counter. I don't like to pick up Max's poop, and I tend to spend too much time on the computer, and many, many more things.

But he puts up with me, and for that I am grateful.

I love you Ryan! Thank you for loving me and for all that you do for me. You're so much more thoughtful than I am. You spoil me...I don't deserve it, but again I'm grateful.

I can't wait to expand our family!! You love Max so much I can only imagine how you'll be with a new baby.

I love you

I love you

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Happy Anniversary.

crafts

Man, I got a whiff of some crafty inspiration this week.

I found this site when a friend was spotlighted on a blog that this person had too been spotlighted on.

I was hooked.

I immediately told Ryan I needed a sewing machine, glue gun, good cutting scissors, etc, etc, etc....oh wait. One part missing though. Who would I make this for??? I don't have kids, of my own, yet. I need a little girl to do this for.

Oh wait, my birthday is coming up in a few months. Would it be lame of me to make my own party hats and decorations, like these? I can have a party like this, right?

Aren't these cute?! Go to the site here to see instructions on how to make these adorable party decorations.

I guess they could be used as a photo prop too....hmmm....LIGHT BULB!!!

lately...

-Watched General Conference over the weekend...LOVED IT! Especially Elder Richard G. Scott's talk on Sunday - powerful! I love the feeling of Conference time, especially in the Spring, with everything changing. It's good.

-I've been so busy lately with photo shoots. Last week as I got off work each day I'd go straight to a photo shoot, and not be home until 8 or so (except Tuesdays - YW night). I'm grateful that I have stuck with photography all these years, even when I felt I wanted to quit and give-up because I wasn't as good as others. I've learned so much over the years and feel that I have come a long way, since the beginning. It's been so much fun! I'm excited to learn more and more, and continue to push myself more and more. I have the best clients and I'm meeting more awesome people from this. You can see my current work on my photography blog here, or click on the right side bar.

The most recent session on there is my brother Sean and his Fiance, Brianna Wyckoff. They're such a beautiful couple! They get married on May 20th in the Salt Lake Temple. So excited!!!

-Max has grown so much, in size. He's still the rambunctious dog he's always been...even more so now. We wonder if he'll ever get over his crazy dog phase where all he wants to do is jump up on people and play with them. He's still a puppy, I guess. But man, it sure makes it hard when you have people over. He's just a very social dog and wants all the attention on him. He's funny. Even though he's crazy, we love him, and we have so much fun with him.


-I'm planning a trip to Vegas to visit one of my BFF's either at the end of April or beginning of May. Can't wait! I need this so bad. I'm also hoping this year to visit my sissy and her family in North Carolina - if they haven't moved already to San Antonio, and while I'm there visit another BFF in Tennessee. Gosh, might as well just hit that whole south area filled with friends and cousins.

-Ryan and I often talk about moving out of the state. He'll get an idea that we should move to some state, like North Dakota or Montana (vito) and I immediately start searching for homes in those areas or others. I love the idea of moving outside of Utah, as much as I love this place it would be nice to be somewhere else. I keep telling him how much I love the east coast and how badly I want to live there (I'm a fan of lots of green, and lots of trees).

-I love being the Laurel Advisor in YW. I love my girls!

-I love playing 'The Michael Jackson Experience' on my Wii.

-I love making a yummy buffalo chicken dip, a fave as of lately. I make it too much.

-I love dinner/movie nights with Ryan.

-I love antique shopping. I love that Ryan and I share the same love for antiques.

-I love my orange chair that I got off of KSL to use for photo shoots. You'll see it being used in a lot of my sessions lately. It's very vintage and very cool looking in the pictures. It's a nice pop of color.

-I love that I can ride my bike again, now that it's getting warmer.

-I love that I still have green sparkly nail polish on my nails from St. Paddy's day.

-I'm enjoying my blonde hair.

-I'm praying for Ryan to get a job.

-I love the Temple. I love that Ryan has been going with a neighbor friend, and went 3 days in a row last week. He's a keeper.

-I love my family.

-I don't love trials.

-I love living, and I love life.

Love,

Me

disappointment

Sometimes I feel that I tend to be one of those who disappoints others. Not deliberately, but subconsciously. I don't mean that people are always disappointed in me, but sometimes I do things, or don't do things, and therefore results in disappointment. I think mostly I disappoint myself.

Here's what I'm trying to say.

In the past I have always put out there what I want to accomplish; my goals. Whether it's to get healthier, make something new, do something cool, go somewhere nice, etc, etc..I've put it out there for the world to see, mostly it has to do with me getting my weight and me getting healthier because that's the thing that weighs on me heavily, no pun intended.

Here's what it looks like:

Posts by me...

"So excited to start doing Zumba" or "I love my zumba class, I'm going to go everyday!" or "Zumba is the best class and a great workout - I'm addicted".

Well, guess what happens. I put that out there, I go to the class twice and then I stop. That's it. It's over.

Then I get people asking me, "So how is the Zumba class going?"

Me: "umm, well I haven't gone since that last time".

Person: "oh, really, why?"

Me: "I don't know, just haven't gone - I need to get back into it though".

Do you see how disappointing that can be for others, but mostly for myself, to confront the fact that I have quit for no reason at all.

I do this ALLLL the time.

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Another example:

Me: "Hey {friend} we should go to the gym every morning at 5:30, I need to do this so bad and I can't do it alone".

Friend: "Yeah let's go for sure! I'll be there to support you." (she's so awesome)

Me: Great, see you there bright and early."

Well, the morning comes, I meet her there, we work out, and repeat the next morning.

Then, after a few days, I stop for one reason or another...but always with an excuse. (sad).

That ends that. However my friend still goes. I'm pathetic.

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Here's another one...

Family member: "Hey Shannon you should sign up on this fitness site and enter your food intake, and exercise tracker in there daily, it's way cool and way motivating! We've already lost {x amount of} pounds!"

Me: "Sounds great, I'll do it!"

I start, and I enter everything in for the first couple of days, then slowly I stop. I forget to log things in, even though I'm exercising, and trying to eat within my calorie goal for the day. Next thing I know it says on my page "Shannon hasn't logged in for 3 days". Then people see it, and I feel like I'm a disappointment again to them...but mostly to me.

I don't understand my way of thinking. I don't understand why I can't stick with things. I automatically know that when I do some kind of health related activity with someone else that I'm going to fail at it. UGH!

So, I've decided that since I do these silly things I'm not going to post about whatever workout I'm going to try. I'm not going to post about how I want to be a runner, or how I want to try HCG, or whatever it is. I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to let you know if I've lost a pound or two. I'm not going to try a health program with you because if I do, I will fail. I have to do it on my own. I did it before and I can do it again.

Love,

Me