I can see...

The past couple of weeks I've been struggling with a lot of anxiety. Not that I have these panic attacks or anything, but so much anxiety in my gut that I constantly hurt. My stomach is in pain.

I realize that I compare myself waaaayyyy to much. It's ridiculous really. But it's something I do and it's something I've done all my life. It's hurting me, like really bad. My body feels this anxiety, it struggles to overcome it.

This weekend as I chatted with a dear friend via facebook, and after talking with my husband I decided I need to make some changes, and that started with removing things that don't make me a better person - things that do nothing for me, but make me lazier, or whatever.

So, I did some sping clean-up on facebook; a site I frequent. I deleted games, "likes" that I really don't like, deleted people who I didn't feel would help me be a better person. I let go of some things, photography sites that contributed to the whole comparison thing. I did feel bad doing some of this, especially "un-friending" people part of it, but I remembered that I can't please everyone. I cannot continue to be a people pleaser. I have to be me.

Wow, talk about a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again! Like I've been trapped in a covered up well, and I've just punched a whole through the surface.

I feel like I can see again - not physically seeing things - but seeing that my life holds so much more value than what I gave it, seeing that I can be an amazing photographer, seeing that I can focus on that business and I can see it becoming something much bigger.

I can see who I am again. I've been caught up in things that do nothing for me, but make me lazy, and then gain weight...a vicious cycle. I can see how much Heavenly Father wants me to be truly happy.

Today is a good day. And this sure helped me realize some things today.

And this poster hanging on my cubicle at work makes my day even better.